Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither, and lose both.
-- Benjamin Franklin

random thoughts

I feel the need to post here, for my own mental health, but don’t feel as though I have anything specific, or even mildly amusing, to say….

There are very few people who read these notes – they are primarily for myself. Those who do read, I know, are mostly college age. I remember when I was college age – I tended to think of older adults in two ways, either old folks who had no clue, or had “sold out” as we used to say, or paradoxically, as the “grown-ups” who somehow knew so much more, or were in posession of some secrets or experience that made it all make sense.

Sorry, both are wrong. I still understand and believe the principles I believed in, perhaps tempered by a little experience. Unfortunately, I have no magic clue as to how to make those principles a reality. I am just as confused, and just as insecure, sadly, as I was 30 years ago. Problems still overwhelm me, and I am faced with issues with which I have no idea how to deal. I struggle on, hoping for an epiphany, dealing with what life throws at me as best I can, and other than when I bend over to pick something up, not feeling much different than what I felt like three decades ago. The one thing I have experienced, which college age people have not, is the overpowering love and hope for your offspring. This is an incredibly powerful force and emotion, which no one can possibly understand until they look into the eyes of a newborn, and know they are responsible for them for all time.

For that reason only, I will gladly continue in a job which I feel demeans me. I will trade off my own personal satisfaction for experiences for youth, and feel it a good bargain. To anyone who might be reading these notes, I wish you this experience. You are not whole until you realize in your own mind that someone, or for that matter everyone, supersedes you.

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